remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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