office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
