It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize