member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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