my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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