As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
