She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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