I'm going to rape someone's good day.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
