Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
