I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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