she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
3pm strippers are depressing
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
