Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
