I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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