I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
