no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize