3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I think your dad took our porno
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
