We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
