im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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