and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize