A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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