Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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