she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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