Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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