yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
