So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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