do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
So vagazzling was a success
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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