I'm really into asian looking animals
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
