So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
