wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
bring money and cleavage
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
