All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
