Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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