Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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