I wannas sexs uuuuu
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
try to milk me bitch
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