White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
The best revenge is premature balding
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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