Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Panties = found
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
