Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
