I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
