my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Found your dick twin last night
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Randomize