Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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