Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize