I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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