He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
