hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
