Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
it's like heaven, but drunker
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
