Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
