It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
So gin and wine won't be happening again
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
