This is not my ceiling
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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