I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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