He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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