Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
