MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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