I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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