Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
