got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
