After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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