Christians are straight up FREAKS
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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