So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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