i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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