i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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