Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
