your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Randomize
